I don't know what happened during my childhood, but it made me a really awkward person today.
The reason for this might be a long post cause I don't know when will I run out of inspiration to write this down is, I noticed how I am so unaccustomed to people or seem like it.
I don't know.
I might correct it later down in the post.
As you can read this, isn't that whole paragraph, well, like, weird or something???
I am an awkward person because even though I know I am friend with them, it still made me question, am I really friend with them???
I am an awkward person because when we are having fun, it is fun, but it still made me question, are they enjoying their time with me???
I am an awkward person because when I try to connect with them, they responded, but it still made me question, do they think I'm annoying???
As you can still read, why am I still saying this, these few question circle around my mind all the time when I'm with people who are not my closest family member.
Yes, family members also might be the victim of my awkwardness too.
I'm sorry.
I think I know how people conduct themselves in any situation at any period of time.
But I don't know why people will still feel awkward to be with me or hang around me.
Except for a brethren of mine.
We are so awkward together that we just naturally ended up being besties.
I thank you for sticking to me as I also stick myself to you.
When we are not together, it made me feel more awkward to go to the outside world.
Why can't people just be like my besties, where she would either just ignore or love what I do completely.
Because of the awkwardness in my action, people usually mistake that I am either mad, sad or hate them.
Due to my awkwardness, I think I can't express myself, facial expression, body language and speeches properly.
This is will usually result in making me the bad guy in any situation.
I was once told that I am slighted with a friend by my other friend.
That news came as a shock to me.
I didn't even know that I was to feel that way.
This was due to a joke that particular friend made.
What made me feel slighted wasn't the joke itself, but the news itself.
That just shows how much they know me, I guess.
I know nobody can know a person to the core of their being.
I know I might or being silly about this.
But when it hurts, I guess, it hurts, doesn't it???
We're friends, but we only talk and meet like once a year.
I know everybody got their own schedule, business and stuffs to do.
Plus, we're so far apart from each other too.
I guess that is why we stay friends until this long.
I am often misunderstood,
I have the CRBF (Chronic Resting Bitch Face) syndrome.
People would either stay away or avoid me completely.
So to you, my few friends who I hold so very dear.
Don't push me aside,
Don't fear me,
I don't hold my anger for too long.
Just long enough for me to cry myself away.
I like you guys, so please like me too.
Even though I'm awkward.
Awkwardly,
i like~
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